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'Stealth': Loudest, dumbest summer movie

Move over, Michael Bay. "The Island" is no longer the loudest, dumbest movie of the summer.

The title now goes to Rob Cohen's "Stealth," a series of explosions and special effects in search of a plot and characters ... but not looking hard enough.

Handsome Josh Lucas, valiant Jennifer Biel and woefully underused Jamie Foxx star as a trio of hotshot "Top Gun" types who've been selected over 400 other elite fighter pilots to work in a top-secret program headed by Sam Shepard. Their assignment: to work with a very special partner named EDI (pronounced Eddie), a super-smart fighter jet run by artificial intelligence. (It's the near-future.)

Sony Pictures Entertainment 'Stealth' D The verdict: Stinks. Director: Rob Cohen Starring: Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx, Joe Morton, Sam Shepard, Richard Roxburgh, Ian Bliss Run time: 121 minutes Release date: July 29, 2005 Rating: PG-13 for intense action, some violence, brief strong language and innuendo. See showtimes On the web Official movie site View the trailer    Trailers require Quicktime Rate "Stealth"   Go see it   Make it a matinee   Wait to rent   Don't bother Voter Limit: Once per Hour View Poll Results

Just like the great-granddaddy of all movie A.I.'s, "2001's" HAL, EDI has a soothing psycho voice and a mind of its -- his, as Shepard keeps insisting, a sign of trouble to come --own. At first, the pumped-up plane enjoys his new partners, even relishing their affectionate nickname for him, "Tin Man." (Well, at least it's not Goose.)

But then, EDI's struck by lightning and becomes Christine with wings.

Geez, you'd think with all the time and money supposedly spent on this prototype, somebody would've thought about lightning.

Poor Lucas. He's got the sex appeal and easy acting manner of a Matthew McConaughey Lite (is that redundant?). But he's got to pick better scripts. Or maybe change agents.

Poor Biel. Of the bevy of Jessicas clustering at the box office -- Alba in "Fantastic Four" and Simpson in the upcoming "The Dukes of Hazzard" -- she's the class act. She can handle dialogue and look good in a bikini at the same time. But she can't make sense of an inane script.

And most of all, poor Foxx. He did the movie before "Ray" earned him an Oscar and a much-deserved promotion to the A-list. This can happen to Oscar winners. Think of Adrien Brody and "Dummy." Or Hilary Swank and "The Audition." (If you never heard of those movies, there's a reason for it.) Foxx gamely does the best he can in an embarrassing role.

Give Cohen his due. He certainly knows how to waste good actors. And blow things up. His signature shot is a flaming explosion in which chunks of metallic debris come hurling at the audience -- sort of like "This is Cinerama." He repeats it so many times, it's like a bad joke.

Reportedly, "Stealth" may feature the biggest explosion ever filmed for a movie. No wonder it's such a bomb.