Now that the house is organized and ready for our two college boys to move home for the summer, the real work begins — mentally preparing for two young men to move back into the life that two boys left behind.
I know they are not the same because I have gotten a glimpse of their transformation during their rare weekend furloughs home. Some of the changes are external, like Chase's new fascination with facial hair. Since my boy left home he has experimented, with minimal success, with what some might call a beard. What he ended up with was a "soul patch," a fuzzy bunch of under-lip hair otherwise known as "whiskers for guys who can't grow a beard." This is much to the amusement of Michael, who could grow a beard at age 12 and left for college with a full Grizzly Adams. Don't doubt Chase's burgeoning manhood, however, because he is coming home with a tattoo on his bicep. The manly part is that he didn't bother asking what we thought before he was permanently inked. Funny, it doesn't seem that long ago that he was asking me to apply a sponge-on Spider Man tattoo from the Cracker Jack box.
Other aspects of their transformations are a result of internal changes, and are far more telling. At school, on his own initiative, Michael took on a youth coaching position and became a role model for young kids. On weekend visitations, both boys have been bringing home an unexpected surprise — peace. The usual sibling taunting that has been part of our family dynamic since Chase ceased being an only child at age 3, has diminished considerably. In fact, I've even overheard phone conversations in which both Chase and Michael have offered brotherly advice to Bailey and Hannah. They have taken them to lunch, loaned them money and even gone so far as to share video games. On a personal level, they have both learned to feed themselves, do their own laundry, hold a job, complete their course work, maintain their own schedules, keep commitments and plan for their futures. When you add to their newfound congeniality, their equally novel self-sufficiency, it is hard to deny that Chase and Michael are no longer boys. And I have tried to deny it!
The truth, however, is that they will never be the boys who left home again. They have changed, and so has our relationship. I can't be the mom who makes the rules anymore, who sets the curfew or who wants a moment-by-moment accounting of their time. They have tasted freedom, and will not willingly give it up; nor should they. Instead, our summer will be built on something new – parental grace, their freedom and mutual respect. We will all have some adjusting to do — but we are looking forward to a great summer.
We all ought to view our Christian freedom the same way our boys view their new adult freedom — something to be guarded carefully. How tragic it would be to let ourselves be placed again under the yoke of slavery to things like the laws of religious activity from which Christ has released us. Remember, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." (Galatians 5:1)
As Christians, we are also offered a new position in life. Those who have experienced salvation through Jesus Christ know what it is to be set free. Having once been a slave to laws we could never keep, that separated us from a relationship with God, we must guard the liberty that came at such a high cost.
"Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you. I am emphatic about this. The moment any one of you submits to (any) rule-keeping system, at that same moment Christ's hard-won gift of freedom is squandered ... It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows." (from Galatians 5, The Message)
We weren't born free, but in Christ we can live free.
