Last week I wrote about dressing appropriately for church and promised that I would add one last comment on the subject. One popular minister in Atlanta, Ga. commented on casual dressing for church by saying, "I let worshipers know that what's on their backs is less important than what is in their heart."
I agree with that comment, as long as the attire is not distracting to others and is neat, clean and is what you feel will please the Lord. One study suggests that personal comfort is the primary consideration in the choice of attire.
Another argument for casual dress in church is that attention should not be paid to outward appearances, but focus instead on what is inside. Poor people may be discouraged from going to church because they cannot afford dressy clothes. The scripture James 2:1-4 refers to how people are dressed in church. In verse two "For if there comes into your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel; and there comes in also a poor man in vile raiment." Verse three states, "And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing and say onto him, Sit though in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool."
Many churches adopt a casual dress policy as a way to attract those who may not be regular church-goers, have lower incomes or have not felt welcomed. If you feel that you have a spiritual relationship with the Lord, I guess it should not matter how you dress for church but my personal opinion was expressed strongly in last week's column.
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Father's Day is just around the corner and the question is often asked, "Where are the African-American fathers?" There is an explanation for why there are so many absent African-American fathers. You may or may not agree with the reasons I will list, but it was a long standing process so here goes. First let me say there are generations of strong African-American fathers who never left their families, including my family of fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers. Unfortunately the media seems to glorify the absent father in the black community so this is what most people read in books and studies and hear through the media.
Whether by design or not, government has played a negative role. Public school for the blacks and whites were separate and unequal. How did this happen? Schools, and neighborhoods with higher income paid higher taxes, which resulted in better public schools in those communities. Even when lower income black communities paid the same amount of tax, the schools were still unequal. Poor people with substandard educations or who could not get jobs because of racial discrimination were given government assistance. Public aid policies encouraged men to leave the family unit. If a husband, employed or not, was present in a household, the family could not get public aid. There are documented cases where social workers would come into the homes searching for evidence that a husband or man was living there, and if so, the woman could not get federal aid. There are also documented cases where husbands and fathers unable to get work left their families so the wife and children could get government aid. The government would also increase a woman's aid directly related to how many children she had. In my opinion, this started the cycle of a new kind of enslavement in the black community. Young single women raising children with no biological fathers present. When children in that situation grew up, there were problems in many major cities. Several studies and reports indicate that many black males in inner cities don't grow up with a value system that places an emphasis on education and fatherhood. It is based on being "cool," wearing trendy clothes, having recreational sex and the kind of car he drives.
Most would agree that the media has a lot to do with this image. Let me also go on record to say that every young black man who grows up with a single mother does not turn out to be a drug dealer, a drug addict, have several children he does not support or end up in prison.
Space does not permit to write about this subject completely but I would like to say to all black fathers, with or without your children: It is not too late to take that first step to becoming a supportive, responsible and loving father. I challenge you to let this Father's Day be the beginning of a new journey to becoming a better father. Where do you start? Go to a strong and responsible father that you know and ask him to help you get started. One man told me he went to a responsible father and asked him for help. This father immediately helped him get a job at the same place where he worked. They are still friends and both working and the younger man is now taking care of his children using the good father as his role model. Yes he is!
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A reminder to mark your calendar for June 20 to join the Nacogdoches community in a special Juneteenth celebration on the playground behind the former E.J. Campbell High School. The parade begins downtown at 11 a.m. with a kick-off program beginning on the playground at 1 p.m. Other festivities will include games, baking contest, car show, activities for children, live entertainment to include singing, dancing, poems and gospel singing by well known community artists and Nacogdoches High School and SFA students. This event is presented by Nacogdoches Progressive Leadership Group and the National E.J. Campbell Alumni Association. Charlotte Stokes is the co-chair for the Juneteenth event as well as founder of the Progressive Leadership Group. Call her at 564-2932 for more information.
Jeri Mills is a retired educator and a contributing writer.
