Q: My boyfriend is moving into my home. My cat has been a point of conflict, because he doesn't like cats, says the litter box stinks and is mildly allergic to them. The cat is the only problem we have, and he wants me to make Miles an outdoor cat. Miles has been with me longer than the boyfriend has. What do you suggest? Ñ H.C., via e-mail

A: Compromise. And if compromise isn't an option, I'd really think twice about having this man move in. I think you'll be having more problems down the line living with someone who won't compromise on an issue as important to you as a beloved pet.

Let's take this one complaint at a time. He doesn't like cats, but maybe you don't like something he does or has. I'm not a relationship counselor, but I do know that in a relationship, everyone has to tolerate what a partner cares about. He doesn't have to like your cat, but he will have to tolerate the animal. The ball's in his court on that one.

Stinky litter box? If you're removing the clumps a couple of times a day and cleaning the entire litter box regularly, this shouldn't be a problem. You might try switching to a different litter with odor-fighting properties, but beware: If your cat doesn't like the new litter, you'll have deposits all over the house instead of in the box. You might also try moving the box to a more out-of-the-way location. But again, you're tempting fate with this one if the new locale doesn't meet with your cat's approval.

Diligent vacuuming, weekly bathing of the cat in clear water and an air purifier may make your cat less likely to trigger allergies, as will having your boyfriend take allergy medications. If your boyfriend pets the cat, he needs to get in the habit of washing his hands before touching his eyes and triggering an allergic reaction. Making certain parts of the house permanently off-limits to the cat Ñ especially the bedroom Ñ is another option.

Work out all the issues before anyone moves anywhere. If you toss your cat outside, you're increasing the likelihood that his life will be shorter and denying yourself the pleasure of his company.

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