Psychiatrist: Hello, Paul.

Man: Just call me “Hollywood.” Paul Sheik actually, but my friends call me “Hollywood”.. I’m an aspiring actor.

Psychiatrist: OK, in that case, just call me “Shrink”. That’s what my friends call me. Whassup?

Hollywood: I’m having anxiety over this Trump thing and everyone wants me to denounce him. I’m from Texas, not a liberal, but I say I hate him. I need the work.

Shrink: First of all, there’s a condition, PTSDD, President Trump Shared Delusion Disorder, that has turned America upside down. Your problem is caused by your exposure to the psychosis and its symptoms go against your principles.

Hollywood: I’ve tried to adapt. I lost weight and keep a three day beard, it’s called Hollywood Chic. Makes me itch. The whole place makes me itch in fact. I’m being drawn into this hate Trump thing, and I’m afraid it will hurt my chances, so I just nod and smile when pushed, but some give me the stink eye and it’s causing me problems, mentally.

Shrink: You know, many actors have to hide their true feelings. Money is everything here, so survival requires that you sacrifice your principles. I did! It’s not so hard.

Hollywood: I’m not a star, and I can barely act, but I like to think I have principles.

Shrink: Would more money than you could ever imagine, change your mind?

Hollywood: Go on.

Shrink: That’s the only thing that will help you. Hollywood is like a living, breathing organism. When faced with threats, inside the host, they rally to protect the prize. Either, kill your principles or leave, you have no other choices. I can see you weekly until you come to realize that PTSDD is a good thing. I won’t even charge you until you get regular work. I’ve got connections. I’ll refer you to them. How about it? Wealth, women, drugs, cocaine and stardom. Sounds good doesn’t it.

Hollywood: Well, I could see you next week. Free, huh?

Patrick Choate

Garrison

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